its. 11.23am.. Day two..
and i finally feel like a ciggy.. although nothing is going to come of this.. im determined not to smoke. I put it down to my partner, T. He stresses me out so much.. just the lil stupid things he does, now i have 0 tolerance and i go straight to blood boiling.. no hahaha funy..
lol remember when love at first moments was all fluffy and lovey dovey?..lol…nope im evil wife these days..
so anyway when he does something that annoys me, i go into auto pilot mode..i *sigh.. vent.. and go outside and smoke a ciggy to release some of that stress that was just put on me…
i cant do that now.. so im going to have to find a way to combat this.. something that’s not so fattening like hiding chocolate in my room..lol (they still havent figured it out)..
off to drink a litre of icy cold water me thinks….
2:10pm….
feeling like another one already.. only cos i got stressed…stupid punk on fb started spamming so i old her to stop… turns out she was an old lady who told me to stop threatening her or she will call the police, then all her lil nieces n nephews came online and LOL.. was funny… gotta feel the love for this old nanna.. but she seriously was in the wrong..anyways.. it got me worked up and now i want a smoke..lol. bahh chocolate here i come….
10:48pm…
again im here.. it seems like when i want a smoke, coming online and writing is really therapeutic.. i had doubts that this blog would work cos i thought if i talked about smoking, id want a smoke.. but its doing the opposite actually… im realising the power i have.. there is an urge within me to wanna go buy a packet.. i think that’s the easy part.. if there were a ciggy lying around the house.. id go smoke it.. but because i dont have any.. i wont go buy them..i think its going to be easier to talk myself out of buying a packet than smoking one.. so let’s hope i dont go and buy one.. ugghh even though i want to…!staying strong.. might call quit line tomorrow.. see what theyve got to say..
Ooooo yes…STRESS…i remember him when I was trying to give up smoking…I didn’t have another way to vent so I went back to smoking after a month of not smoking. Are you trying the patches? If you are don’t wear them when your sleeping – they will give you the most graffic nightmares…well that was my experience anyway. A friend was saying that you can get a prescription now from the doctors for some pills that are supposed to suppress the cravings. Way 2 Go Gurl….
Buzzy Gurl
buzzygurl.blogtown.co.nz
Comment by BuzzyGurl — December 29, 2011 @ 9:47 am
yeah i have the prescription.. unsure if i want them though cos ive tried them all (my sister n law got her lot thru her docs) and i didnt like the gum, lozenges and yeah i seriously dont think the patch does anything… ive given up a few times in my life.. when ive been pregnant i just went cold turkey with both babies..and never thought about it again.. so im going to try and channel that will power…lol
Comment by Sonia — December 29, 2011 @ 9:52 am